[they'll wave a namazu server over to order water and a drink. unfortunately... they also use alcohol to cope so they will not say no to her doing the same. sorry that your usual adultier adults are gone for the week, fukawa.]
—Huh? [they blink at her, like that's the last thing they expected.] No??? I mean, I'm not happy that two people died right after I got here, but... No one's going to punish you for that. And besides, you're all back anyway?
[for better or for worse, they don't seem to think that crew members stabbing each other is that big of a deal... beyond, like, maybe if this was baby's first time dying.]
... I guess I'm more worried about how you're taking it?
[no this seems like the time for it tbh. please let her drink it away.]
...I...
[Was that really all?
Fukawa looks down at her hands, turning over her palms. Not for illusory blood, but to look at the strange callouses high on her fingers. They were hard to notice, maybe easy enough to pass for something done by rings, except rings never saw the workout that her scissors did.
Hard to imagine what they were from, for anyone. Marks of a killer, same as the notches etched onto her upper thigh. Permanent scarlet letters.]
I b-broke my promise. I wouldn't l-let her...that I wouldn't let her kill again. If she's...H-how can that be okay?
How is it okay to just ignore that? She could d-do it again. Keep doing it.
[fukawa's quick time event to not get the new coping strategy unlocked notification after this.]
... I'm not saying that it's okay, or that you have to ignore it. [because it clearly bothers her.] But since it did happen... isn't it good that it happened here? No one gets to stay dead. What happened was bad, but it wasn't permanent.
[you don't get to die in any way that matters, so live with it.]
You can start again and keep looking for a way to stick to your promise, can't you?
Maybe. [She swallows, looking to them.] I j-just really...really thought things had changed.
[...]
It depends on her. If sh-she can keep it. I thought I could control her, but I can't. And if she... [if she touches him again if she hurts him again if she has to wake up one more time with blood all over her fingers and face and clothes—]
There's really no w-way to make it permanent, here? Even if you need it to be?
[when someone is having a mental breakdown in front of you but your own mental health is in shambles and you are both passively suicidal actually aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
they're quiet for a moment while sobs, feeling way out of their depth. but they are also the only other person here right now, so... shit...]
... Locking you up and throwing away the key isn't much of a solution, either. That doesn't help you at all. [quietly. a little hesitantly like oh god don't fuck this up, siffrin siffrinson.] Have you talked to anyone else about it? The people here come from all different kinds of worlds, so... one of them might know something you haven't considered before before, or that just doesn't exist where you're from.
[
the namazu server finally comes back and sets something nice and alcoholic on the table for her. y... yay...]
[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IN SHAMBLES. bless you for continuing to tag this mess]
B-but it would help everyone else!
[that's the important thing. What happens to her doesn't matter anymore.
Miserably, she snatches a napkin and mashes into her nose. Dabs at her eyes, for all the good it does her.]
What? L-like just lobotomizing me magically? H-how would that even work?
And...I've h-had no choice but to rely on her before this. I w-would have been dead without her, back home. But is that r-really worth it? When she's g-going to keep hurting the men I love?
[i will continue to backtag things until dreamwidth throws my notif into the shadow realm it's okay
they make a bit of a face when she mentions lobotomies.]
It doesn't have to be a lobotomy unless you want it to be. [they don't seem to like the idea, though.] But I meant something more like, um... I guess a leash is the best word for it? I really doubt you're the only person out there who's needed to stop someone from going too far.
[siffrin out here like have you considered asking on the crew marketplace for a serial killer baby leash]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
—Huh? [they blink at her, like that's the last thing they expected.] No??? I mean, I'm not happy that two people died right after I got here, but... No one's going to punish you for that. And besides, you're all back anyway?
[for better or for worse, they don't seem to think that crew members stabbing each other is that big of a deal... beyond, like, maybe if this was baby's first time dying.]
... I guess I'm more worried about how you're taking it?
no subject
...I...
[Was that really all?
Fukawa looks down at her hands, turning over her palms. Not for illusory blood, but to look at the strange callouses high on her fingers. They were hard to notice, maybe easy enough to pass for something done by rings, except rings never saw the workout that her scissors did.
Hard to imagine what they were from, for anyone. Marks of a killer, same as the notches etched onto her upper thigh. Permanent scarlet letters.]
I b-broke my promise. I wouldn't l-let her...that I wouldn't let her kill again. If she's...H-how can that be okay?
How is it okay to just ignore that? She could d-do it again. Keep doing it.
no subject
... I'm not saying that it's okay, or that you have to ignore it. [because it clearly bothers her.] But since it did happen... isn't it good that it happened here? No one gets to stay dead. What happened was bad, but it wasn't permanent.
[you don't get to die in any way that matters, so live with it.]
You can start again and keep looking for a way to stick to your promise, can't you?
no subject
Maybe. [She swallows, looking to them.] I j-just really...really thought things had changed.
[...]
It depends on her. If sh-she can keep it. I thought I could control her, but I can't. And if she... [if she touches him again if she hurts him again if she has to wake up one more time with blood all over her fingers and face and clothes—]
There's really no w-way to make it permanent, here? Even if you need it to be?
no subject
they take a sip from their drink.]
Nope! Not even if you begged for it. It's OnlyFruits policy to keep their employees alive, you know?
[it's in your health insurance! for better or worse.]
... All you can really do is take it from the top and try again, until something changes.
no subject
Her hands come to her face and she hunches over, openly sobbing.
What's the point then? Keep going, forever?
Keep letting Syo go, forever?]
Th-then you should just l-lock me away! I don't want to kill anymore! I don't w-want to, I don't w-want to!
no subject
they're quiet for a moment while sobs, feeling way out of their depth. but they are also the only other person here right now, so... shit...]
... Locking you up and throwing away the key isn't much of a solution, either. That doesn't help you at all. [quietly. a little hesitantly like oh god don't fuck this up, siffrin siffrinson.] Have you talked to anyone else about it? The people here come from all different kinds of worlds, so... one of them might know something you haven't considered before before, or that just doesn't exist where you're from.
[
the namazu server finally comes back and sets something nice and alcoholic on the table for her. y... yay...]
no subject
B-but it would help everyone else!
[that's the important thing. What happens to her doesn't matter anymore.
Miserably, she snatches a napkin and mashes into her nose. Dabs at her eyes, for all the good it does her.]
What? L-like just lobotomizing me magically? H-how would that even work?
And...I've h-had no choice but to rely on her before this. I w-would have been dead without her, back home. But is that r-really worth it? When she's g-going to keep hurting the men I love?
no subject
they make a bit of a face when she mentions lobotomies.]
It doesn't have to be a lobotomy unless you want it to be. [they don't seem to like the idea, though.] But I meant something more like, um... I guess a leash is the best word for it? I really doubt you're the only person out there who's needed to stop someone from going too far.
[siffrin out here like have you considered asking on the crew marketplace for a serial killer baby leash]