[ it definitely was an illusion. it had started to break, back then - seeing sazantos on his deathbed taught him quickly how fallible his hero was. it was a painful, painful lesson, but a valuable one, too, and one that's left them in a better place. ]
... A few months, now. [ my shiny new canonpoint ] With all the time that's passed, it almost does feel like a bad dream, haha...
Well... it's over, now. Myself, the Ringbearer, the Queen, and the rest of the guardians - we were able to take him down before anything was destroyed fairly effectively not too long after that.
[ a beat - there's a half smile, a little huff. ] I won't go too much into it if you don't want me to. I'm used to a world with plenty of magic, and the things we were able to do were insane even by my standards. But... he was stopped, which was what matters.
[ though he never says killed, here, either. ]
...You know how in books, once the hero's journey is finished, that's usually it. End of the tale, and they live happily ever after, and then you close the book. And - I don't think I'm a hero or anything by any means, but... if my journey was to get stronger to face him and defeat him, I was able to do that. And now I guess... I live in the after.
It sounds like a l-long story. Better not waste all the oxygen in the room.
[Not that she's completely opposed to hearing it, but also she knows how exhausting it is to explain yourself to people who come from whole other planets. Once again, she's half grateful for the extra game's worth of experience in dealing with it. She could get past a lot of reservations and disbelief that way.
Still, if she can spare him the walking back, the defining every other term, diving into politics and geography and god forbid, religion, all for the sake of making himself clear to her on one singular point, she will. She hates doing it herself.]
Well, y-yeah. You won't just vanish from existence now that you closed a ch-chapter. [She grimaces.] There'll be some other crap come up for you. Just wait and see. Unless you die here, you're probably going b-back to face some other ludicrous threat in a few years, and then you'll have to get stronger for that. On and on it'll go until you're either old or dead.
We can understand our l-lives better through stories, but we c-can't fit so tightly into the archetypes they use. You aren't done with anything y-yet.
[ it's so much religion fukawa you're saving yourself heaven and hell
also give me a mem back at some point 🥺 ]
... Haha. [ a little smile - bolstered, by that. ] You're exactly right. Being strong's a perpetual goal. But -- I like it that way, you know? I want to be better for the people of Orsterra so they'll feel safe. I want to be able to protect people who can't protect themselves, the way he protected me when I needed it the most, no matter how dangerous the threat. After all, the Flame exists to burn away all evil... but it exists to light the way for others in the darkness, too.
[ the kindness of his flame is what made it strong, or so the maid matron said. it's not about pure, brute force, it's about the person who powers it. power is simply a power; what makes it good or evil is how you wield it. ]
...That's exactly how I feel about stories too, you know. That they help me understand my life and the world around me a little bit more.
Then you're n-never getting another peaceful night's sleep again.
[she hexes you with Atlas' burden. You want to protect them all? Suffer, bitch.
As hopelessly corny as all this flame talk is, she can't help likening him to another corny, starry-eyed optimist in her life. Fukawa huffs, glancing away.]
J-just don't get too high off your own f-flames. A lot of hot air can keep you from noticing when you've caught fire.
[don't do anything reckless, idiot.
Also fine there's a second trap door sucker. Enjoy the show. (Note that the text is for eng adaptation, it should still be Genocider Syo)]
[ yeah that's probably true. he gives her a grin, though, unfettered by this! and then that rapidly, immediately fades in the face of her memory.
there's. there's a lot to unpack in this one. there's betrayal, the sharp and bitter tang of it - familiar, to love someone and have them throw your trust away, fukawa just saw how that was something they had in common.
and of course, there's the personality thing, the serial killer thing, that can be addressed later. but that doesn't matter, not right now, because the second part burns rondo up so bad that he stands up from where he's fallen on the ground with the second trapdoor in sheer, indignant fury, practically trembling with the force his fists are clenched at his sides. ]
-- He threw your trust away because he thought things were boring?! [ impassioned - furious, so much so the words don't even come out in full sentences. ] To blame you for such a serious crime, for one that was that -- closely tied to your exact fear, that's - that's -- that's abhorrent!
[She could really do with less trap doors. Really. Even beyond the mental bruising there is the physical kind, and she wonders if everyone's ass won't be broken by week's end. This had better not be a permanent mechanic.
But fair's fair, and now she's being served up on a platter. In more ways than one. Fukawa blanches as she realizes exactly what's playing out.]
N-no!
[Don't look! She wants to shout, but he'd still hear everything. She scuttles to the back wall, pressed against more screens and stupidly shutting her eyes and covering her ears. It lasts far too long for her liking.
What will she do now? The crewmates finding out is one thing, but the leads are another. They have power over her. They could out her to the rest on principle, they could banish her, punish her, they could do any number of things—
Her eyes flutter open as Rondo spits fire, but not at her. She gawps at him, bewildered.]
returns the expression for a second, just the most "bwuh" face in the world, because this startles him. ]
Wh... Why wouldn't I be? [ and though the initial fury calms, the impassioned nature of it doesn't - he notices fukawa more or less cowering and drops down to one knee near her instead, to make sure she's okay, attention away from the screen entirely. hands hovering a little like he's not sure entirely what to do with them. ] What else is there to be angry about? That's the most reprehensible thing I could possibly imagine - to share something so vulnerable with someone, only to have them wield it right back like a weapon against you, and all in the name of selfishness? Of entertainment? It's beyond cruel.
[ rondo has become a byakuya hater ]
I'm so sorry, Miss Fukawa. You didn't deserve that for a second.
She isn't sure how to respond to the question off the bat, because so much is so obviously wrong with the scene that she can't begin to articulate it. Particularly when he follows up by crouching to tend to her.
Fukawa flinches back with a gasp, covering her head as if expecting a blow.]
B-but...no! No no no, it's n-not reprehensible! I was! Didn't you h-hear him? Didn't you see?!
[Her madcap mannerisms and open glee at the gore. What more does she need for condemnation here? Beyond that, why should Byakuya-sama be slandered instead. Fukawa wets her lips and shakes her head.]
You don't understand! He was j-just — it was a strategy, don't you see? He n-needed to neutralize a threat, so he exposed me! And that meant that I couldn't b-be culpable for anything from then on, because I would be caught at once! So....so he t-took mercy on me, and let me live, instead of having m-me crucified! Or worse, attempting to kill him later!
[ shhhh please you're gy there's especially no such thing as late here.
the gasp and flinch startles him a little too - rondo holds incredibly still, like dealing with a panicked animal, and his expression goes a little odd as she starts to explain. not odd as in freaked out, but... upset? there's a flicker in his eyes of something edging on heartbroken, the concern almost palpable as he searches her face. ]
For you...? He accused you of a crime you hadn't committed to save you? Miss Fukawa, he clearly did it for his own selfish reasons. The adage is "innocent until proven guilty", not the other way around.
[ a beat. he comes back to the initial question, takes a deep breath. and after a moment, holds out his hand - just between them, hovering but unwavering. something to reach out. rondo's voice gentles, but the intensity and compassion floods every syllable. ]
I did see. [ the whole. genocider thing. ] I won't pretend I didn't, but I didn't see you attacking anyone, or hurting anyone. I won't accept the idea that you should preemptively be punished when you were clearly trying to ensure something awful didn't happen. People deserve chances. I don't believe his hypotheticals were a guaranteed reality.
Anyway it is extremely funny to come back to this now that events have transpired. Fukawa does not think this is funny, though. She registers his odd expressions, drawing her own hands fretfully in to wrench at the fabric over her sternum. It does nothing to alleviate the panicked pump of her heart, but it's what she's got.]
But I am guilty!
[There was a long line of blood dragging behind her heels. Even if it's been years since Syo slipped her scissors into fatal wounds, the panic that she might relapse has doubled since she came to the network. And it had been terrorizing her all the time in Hope's Peak, unaware of the time she'd lost between her entry and the Killing Game, all blood-free.
Just because something is peaceful now doesn't mean it will stay that way. And Byakuya-sama knew that. Countered it. Put her in a position where she simply couldn't kill. That safety net is missing, here.]
H-how can it be pre-emptive when p-people are dead because of me? [She shakes her head.] He h-had to take care of me. Make sure I couldn't do it. And because of that, I didn't.
[ and here's where it sticks, what crystalizes as she speaks. that moment of heartbreak, all empathy, in realization. ]
...How cruel have people been to you, that someone betraying your trust feels like a benediction...?
[ because, yes, what she says her other self has done, both in the memory and out of it, those sort of things are awful, and there's no excuse for taking a life. but the worst crime in this moment, of what he saw, was the way this byakuya just - used her. for boredom. for nothing.
there's a beat. rondo takes a breath to compose himself, not to get too hung up in the upswell of his own emotions, indignant and protective and righteous all at once, tries to get control of the burning of the flame in his chest. so when he responds to her, he's firm and steady, ever full of his resolve, his compassion, his intensity, honesty. ]
I'm - sorry. I'm so sorry, that he did that to you. If you won't be upset about it, then I will be. And - I can't accept the idea that people should just be preemptively punished, either. You deserve your chance to live, Miss Fukawa, and he was ready to toss that chance away like it meant nothing, for nothing, after you trusted him with something so precious. That's not taking care of you at all, it's unabashed cruelty. You deserve so much more than that.
Is, though. On the cruelty front. The simple truth of her life is that she was born to be hated, and it has born itself out for years. But that hasn't warped her thinking so badly. She can recognize what true affection is. Komaru gives it to her. So does Byakuya-sama, in his own way.
Rondo...
Her lip twitches as he carries on. You deserve your chance to live. Her skin burns hearing it. Feeling the fervor beneath the words.
There's about thirty-seven weeping mothers and fathers who would beg to differ, mourning their murdered sons. Had been, anyway. They're probably all dead now. If Rondo had been watching those memories on these screens, he wouldn't have anything much kind to say about her.]
Y-you...you can just...f-feel what you want! I can't stop you. If you're so d-determined to waste your time on lost causes, that's your choice. I d-don't need your pity.
You're wrong about Byakuya-sama though. And I'll p-prove it!
[With a frantic huff she reaches behind her to slap at a screen.]
Go!
[Nothing happens. She slaps it twice.]
Memory activate!
[Nothing happens.
She shakes where she sits.]
Oh, n-now you're too good to spill our secrets? Who is b-behind all this crap?! SHOW YOURSELF!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ it definitely was an illusion. it had started to break, back then - seeing sazantos on his deathbed taught him quickly how fallible his hero was. it was a painful, painful lesson, but a valuable one, too, and one that's left them in a better place. ]
... A few months, now. [ my shiny new canonpoint ] With all the time that's passed, it almost does feel like a bad dream, haha...
no subject
What do you plan to do about it?
no subject
[ a beat - there's a half smile, a little huff. ] I won't go too much into it if you don't want me to. I'm used to a world with plenty of magic, and the things we were able to do were insane even by my standards. But... he was stopped, which was what matters.
[ though he never says killed, here, either. ]
...You know how in books, once the hero's journey is finished, that's usually it. End of the tale, and they live happily ever after, and then you close the book. And - I don't think I'm a hero or anything by any means, but... if my journey was to get stronger to face him and defeat him, I was able to do that. And now I guess... I live in the after.
no subject
[Not that she's completely opposed to hearing it, but also she knows how exhausting it is to explain yourself to people who come from whole other planets. Once again, she's half grateful for the extra game's worth of experience in dealing with it. She could get past a lot of reservations and disbelief that way.
Still, if she can spare him the walking back, the defining every other term, diving into politics and geography and god forbid, religion, all for the sake of making himself clear to her on one singular point, she will. She hates doing it herself.]
Well, y-yeah. You won't just vanish from existence now that you closed a ch-chapter. [She grimaces.] There'll be some other crap come up for you. Just wait and see. Unless you die here, you're probably going b-back to face some other ludicrous threat in a few years, and then you'll have to get stronger for that. On and on it'll go until you're either old or dead.
We can understand our l-lives better through stories, but we c-can't fit so tightly into the archetypes they use. You aren't done with anything y-yet.
no subject
also give me a mem back at some point 🥺 ]
... Haha. [ a little smile - bolstered, by that. ] You're exactly right. Being strong's a perpetual goal. But -- I like it that way, you know? I want to be better for the people of Orsterra so they'll feel safe. I want to be able to protect people who can't protect themselves, the way he protected me when I needed it the most, no matter how dangerous the threat. After all, the Flame exists to burn away all evil... but it exists to light the way for others in the darkness, too.
[ the kindness of his flame is what made it strong, or so the maid matron said. it's not about pure, brute force, it's about the person who powers it. power is simply a power; what makes it good or evil is how you wield it. ]
...That's exactly how I feel about stories too, you know. That they help me understand my life and the world around me a little bit more.
no subject
[she hexes you with Atlas' burden. You want to protect them all? Suffer, bitch.
As hopelessly corny as all this flame talk is, she can't help likening him to another corny, starry-eyed optimist in her life. Fukawa huffs, glancing away.]
J-just don't get too high off your own f-flames. A lot of hot air can keep you from noticing when you've caught fire.
[don't do anything reckless, idiot.
Also fine there's a second trap door sucker. Enjoy the show. (Note that the text is for eng adaptation, it should still be Genocider Syo)]
no subject
there's. there's a lot to unpack in this one. there's betrayal, the sharp and bitter tang of it - familiar, to love someone and have them throw your trust away, fukawa just saw how that was something they had in common.
and of course, there's the personality thing, the serial killer thing, that can be addressed later. but that doesn't matter, not right now, because the second part burns rondo up so bad that he stands up from where he's fallen on the ground with the second trapdoor in sheer, indignant fury, practically trembling with the force his fists are clenched at his sides. ]
-- He threw your trust away because he thought things were boring?! [ impassioned - furious, so much so the words don't even come out in full sentences. ] To blame you for such a serious crime, for one that was that -- closely tied to your exact fear, that's - that's -- that's abhorrent!
no subject
But fair's fair, and now she's being served up on a platter. In more ways than one. Fukawa blanches as she realizes exactly what's playing out.]
N-no!
[Don't look! She wants to shout, but he'd still hear everything. She scuttles to the back wall, pressed against more screens and stupidly shutting her eyes and covering her ears. It lasts far too long for her liking.
What will she do now? The crewmates finding out is one thing, but the leads are another. They have power over her. They could out her to the rest on principle, they could banish her, punish her, they could do any number of things—
Her eyes flutter open as Rondo spits fire, but not at her. She gawps at him, bewildered.]
You...y-you're angry about Byakuya-sama?!
no subject
returns the expression for a second, just the most "bwuh" face in the world, because this startles him. ]
Wh... Why wouldn't I be? [ and though the initial fury calms, the impassioned nature of it doesn't - he notices fukawa more or less cowering and drops down to one knee near her instead, to make sure she's okay, attention away from the screen entirely. hands hovering a little like he's not sure entirely what to do with them. ] What else is there to be angry about? That's the most reprehensible thing I could possibly imagine - to share something so vulnerable with someone, only to have them wield it right back like a weapon against you, and all in the name of selfishness? Of entertainment? It's beyond cruel.
[ rondo has become a byakuya hater ]
I'm so sorry, Miss Fukawa. You didn't deserve that for a second.
no subject
She isn't sure how to respond to the question off the bat, because so much is so obviously wrong with the scene that she can't begin to articulate it. Particularly when he follows up by crouching to tend to her.
Fukawa flinches back with a gasp, covering her head as if expecting a blow.]
B-but...no! No no no, it's n-not reprehensible! I was! Didn't you h-hear him? Didn't you see?!
[Her madcap mannerisms and open glee at the gore. What more does she need for condemnation here? Beyond that, why should Byakuya-sama be slandered instead. Fukawa wets her lips and shakes her head.]
You don't understand! He was j-just — it was a strategy, don't you see? He n-needed to neutralize a threat, so he exposed me! And that meant that I couldn't b-be culpable for anything from then on, because I would be caught at once! So....so he t-took mercy on me, and let me live, instead of having m-me crucified! Or worse, attempting to kill him later!
He did it for me!
no subject
the gasp and flinch startles him a little too - rondo holds incredibly still, like dealing with a panicked animal, and his expression goes a little odd as she starts to explain. not odd as in freaked out, but... upset? there's a flicker in his eyes of something edging on heartbroken, the concern almost palpable as he searches her face. ]
For you...? He accused you of a crime you hadn't committed to save you? Miss Fukawa, he clearly did it for his own selfish reasons. The adage is "innocent until proven guilty", not the other way around.
[ a beat. he comes back to the initial question, takes a deep breath. and after a moment, holds out his hand - just between them, hovering but unwavering. something to reach out. rondo's voice gentles, but the intensity and compassion floods every syllable. ]
I did see. [ the whole. genocider thing. ] I won't pretend I didn't, but I didn't see you attacking anyone, or hurting anyone. I won't accept the idea that you should preemptively be punished when you were clearly trying to ensure something awful didn't happen. People deserve chances. I don't believe his hypotheticals were a guaranteed reality.
no subject
Anyway it is extremely funny to come back to this now that events have transpired. Fukawa does not think this is funny, though. She registers his odd expressions, drawing her own hands fretfully in to wrench at the fabric over her sternum. It does nothing to alleviate the panicked pump of her heart, but it's what she's got.]
But I am guilty!
[There was a long line of blood dragging behind her heels. Even if it's been years since Syo slipped her scissors into fatal wounds, the panic that she might relapse has doubled since she came to the network. And it had been terrorizing her all the time in Hope's Peak, unaware of the time she'd lost between her entry and the Killing Game, all blood-free.
Just because something is peaceful now doesn't mean it will stay that way. And Byakuya-sama knew that. Countered it. Put her in a position where she simply couldn't kill. That safety net is missing, here.]
H-how can it be pre-emptive when p-people are dead because of me? [She shakes her head.] He h-had to take care of me. Make sure I couldn't do it. And because of that, I didn't.
no subject
...How cruel have people been to you, that someone betraying your trust feels like a benediction...?
[ because, yes, what she says her other self has done, both in the memory and out of it, those sort of things are awful, and there's no excuse for taking a life. but the worst crime in this moment, of what he saw, was the way this byakuya just - used her. for boredom. for nothing.
there's a beat. rondo takes a breath to compose himself, not to get too hung up in the upswell of his own emotions, indignant and protective and righteous all at once, tries to get control of the burning of the flame in his chest. so when he responds to her, he's firm and steady, ever full of his resolve, his compassion, his intensity, honesty. ]
I'm - sorry. I'm so sorry, that he did that to you. If you won't be upset about it, then I will be. And - I can't accept the idea that people should just be preemptively punished, either. You deserve your chance to live, Miss Fukawa, and he was ready to toss that chance away like it meant nothing, for nothing, after you trusted him with something so precious. That's not taking care of you at all, it's unabashed cruelty. You deserve so much more than that.
no subject
[not true.
Is, though. On the cruelty front. The simple truth of her life is that she was born to be hated, and it has born itself out for years. But that hasn't warped her thinking so badly. She can recognize what true affection is. Komaru gives it to her. So does Byakuya-sama, in his own way.
Rondo...
Her lip twitches as he carries on. You deserve your chance to live. Her skin burns hearing it. Feeling the fervor beneath the words.
There's about thirty-seven weeping mothers and fathers who would beg to differ, mourning their murdered sons. Had been, anyway. They're probably all dead now. If Rondo had been watching those memories on these screens, he wouldn't have anything much kind to say about her.]
Y-you...you can just...f-feel what you want! I can't stop you. If you're so d-determined to waste your time on lost causes, that's your choice. I d-don't need your pity.
You're wrong about Byakuya-sama though. And I'll p-prove it!
[With a frantic huff she reaches behind her to slap at a screen.]
Go!
[Nothing happens. She slaps it twice.]
Memory activate!
[Nothing happens.
She shakes where she sits.]
Oh, n-now you're too good to spill our secrets? Who is b-behind all this crap?! SHOW YOURSELF!